This Saturday marks 4 months in Brazil. 4 MONTHS. I really can't believe it. I find it unbelievable that time can move so quickly, and life can change so quietly and slowly that it's hard for me to notice. I usually feel like everything is ultimately the same since getting here, I'm wasting my time and this whole 'exchange' thing is overrated. But boy, am I wrong. I have lived more, cried more, laughed more, and lived more in the past 15 weeks than I think I did in my previous 19 years.
I really like doing things like writing blogs, catching up with people back home, and looking at pictures I've taken on my Brazilian phone, for it allows me to reflect. Reflection is such an important part of being an exchange student for me. It forces me to see how much I've accomplished, changed, and learned in the little amount of time I've had here.
I wish I was a better writer, and could properly express why it is that people decide to travel, and why it leaves such a strong combination of emptiness and fullness within a person. I think I'll start with some common myths of long term travel, at least what I've noticed so far and isn't properly expressed in pictures and Facebook statuses.
First off, about 70 percent of time, exchange students aren't actually doing anything. It may seem like I'm living a life jam-packed with adventure, culture shock and knowledge... But I'm really just watching Pawn Stars with portuguese subtitles and eating Brazilian chicken. But, this is what I've found to be one of the most appealing parts of being here. I have minimal responsibility and can fill my time as I choose. This may come off as selfish, wasting such a golden year by not keeping it lively and exciting, but this is all I could've wanted. A chance to relax, to think, and just enjoy the little things. Instead of having a mental breakdown over my next organic chemistry test, or working until I feel like my feet are literally falling off my legs, I am incorporating myself into a casual Brazilian lifestyle, filled with long talks with locals, doing the kind of things I liked to to, and
enjoying the beautiful calmness and quietness that comes along with a year abroad.
Another interesting point, is that the concept of homesickness completely morphs during long term travel. For me, homesickness isn't missing the feel of my bed sheets, the sound of my dad's voice or the taste of Taco Bell. It's moreso an appreciation for where you come from. To coin a phrase, you don't know what you have until it's gone. I've never been an overly patriotic, but I have never been so proud to be an American until I'm a legal citizen 5000 miles away. I come from a strong family, and grew up priveleged. I love Brazil and want to be here more than anything, but my pride for my upbringing is stronger than ever, and I'm excited to enjoy life there once again.
Lastly, there is no right way or wrong way to be an exchange student. In all of our Rotary orientations, they give us so many tips and directions on what it is we need to do in our host countries to have a successful time. Personally, I don't think it's necessary. The beautiful thing about being here is that it isn't that easy, and I'm not prepared for a lot of the things that I'm faced with. It's a year of surprises. Like, I'm surprised that it isn't as easy to make friends as I thought it'd be. I'm not as flawless as I thought I was. Portuguese isn't as easy as it seemed. And that all my problems from home didn't just melt away simply because I paused my life there. I'm so grateful that some nights I feel sad, that some people here don't want to be buddies, and that I'm not getting my way. These are the kind of things that cause my subtle improvement as a person, and encourage my ascent into adulthood. What more could I ask for?
Ill write an update on what I've actually been doing following this post for those who are interested.
Cheers and God bless
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